Slim Down For What ?!?

"Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned,or worn. It is the spiritual existence of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude."
-Dennis Waitley

Hey lovelies!How's everything kicking for ya?Recently I've just been talking to so many people and so many girls and some boys I know, just come to me saying that they just don't feel good enough. They are waiting until they lose such and such pounds, or look a certain way to do things and start living.To be perfectly honest,I used to think that senior year I'll come back really in shape and all the boys will like me. I wanted to get asked to prom by a really popular guy who doesn't notice me and who honestly isn't that nice of a person. But the point is,I wanted to live when I was thin.Not even when I was healthy,but when I was thin. But I noticed the more that I made these ideas based off of messed up fantasies, that I never committed to any of them because none of them were truly for me.I wanted to lose weight to make everyone ok with me and be attractive to people that don't really matter in the grand scheme of things. The more and more I thought about those things, the more and more things would into place. What I mean by that is, I wanted to hold off on doing really cool things and wearing fashionable clothes until I had my "new look". But things kept coming up and people kept making plans,and my now boyfriend and I kept getting closer as friends,and the boring clothes were sold out in the stores.(Literally I went into H&M to get a black dress and came out with a pure white dress with a mesh covering for my boobs and it shows me off in every way perfectly,and only $15,the black dress was $24.50). It was as if God was saying, I MADE YOU PERFECT FOR LIFE THE WAY YOU ARE! Stop using these excuses of trying to be what the world wants and be who I want and need you to be. I didn't put you here to bum around and wait for a life I've already given you. I heard him loud and clear. I couldn't run from it.Life is here.Life is happening,awakening and dying around you.Jump in yours before it dies right before your eyes. You'll turn into a skeleton while waiting to live until you're as skinny as a skeleton!I don't know about you, but I'm not going out like that.I will be the liveliest fat lady you've ever seen before I let "wishing upon a size" keep me sitting and waiting.Live for today and be happy with you.It's the only body and this is the only life you will live.

(I'll upload the picture of the dress soon) ;)

Middle finger to the old life

" You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself,and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection"

-Buddha 

Hey lovely people. As I am writing this I am listening to "Shake It Off" by Florence & the Machine.This song has always made me feel like throwing my arms open wide and just taking in a breath as huge and life-filled as the earth itself. It creates a euphoric feeling of peace and sunshine mixing in the atmosphere and I take it all in. I mean, why shouldn't you feel good about life?Why is it wrong to go around being happy with yourself and your life? I don't get it.Breathing? (check) Moving? (check) Loving? (double checks)...then what the hell is there to be angry about?You get another day! You didn't wake yourself up.You didn't start your own heart. I would've ceased both previous actions some time ago,but I didn't because I can't. I'm here, you're here and that's amazing. Be grateful for it.

Ellen's take on this issue

So around this time,you know it's winter shopping time and that time to put those super revealing summer clothes away. Well I'm a bit late on that but before my body revolution I used to wear unflattering things that made me look a billion times bigger than I actually was. I always wanted to spend my money on Abercrombie, Hollister, American Eagle Outfitters,Aerie,etc. But when I went shopping in these stores, (except AEO), they would go up to a large and that wouldn't fit on my thumb! But there is a reason for that. The owner of Abercrombie said that the clothes don't cater to the "fat unpopular kids". He only wants the "skinny popular jocks" wearing his clothing.So I stopped longing to shop there because if you do,then you're forcing yourself into their clothes, further shaming yourself and giving your money to someone who is against you loving your body and wearing their clothes. You're paying all of that money to fit into something not only not made for your body but not made for you as a person. To that I say:eff that, ain't nobody got the money for those pieces of scrap material thrown together. I don't know what YOU think, but my curves ARE popular.Get with the program Hollister and the others. Weight discrimination is real.Fight it!

You can take on the world you know that right?

"The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes."
-Marcel Proust 

 I love to travel. I love packing and getting on a plane,bus,car, broom, whatever. I love seeing new places and going everywhere. As a curvy girl growing up in the hood, not a lot of people told me I could learn so many languages,go out of the country,reach my dreams, even succeed in school. I was teased and not well liked. I was never the girl who had guys crushing on her. I was always the best friend of that girl...her fat ass shadow. I was a guys girl, hanging out and play fighting with the guys and playing tag. No one ever told me it's okay to be the way I am so I didn't accept myself and I thought, since I was too big for the junior section in Sears, I was too big for my dreams...in a bad way. I never knew that I would learn japanese and end up going to japan. No one I knew or grew up with had even been to los angeles, never mind japan!

Going to japan has broadened my horizons and made me look at myself in a different light. I realized, I AM too big for my dreams. I should be dreaming even bigger! You wouldn't force yourself into too-small jeans, so don't put yourself into a too-small-for-you dream. You deserve to find pants that fit you as well as a mind that can fully grasp who you are and form your dreams around that version of you. The bigger than life version of you. You can take on the world and succeed! You have that power! Don't let people tell you what you can and can't do. Don't give them that power to tell you who you are.you know you.they don't know what you're made of until you show them. Can you imagine #thatPOWER ?

I used to feel some type of way about how all my friends had gaps betwixt their thighs and I didn't. I started to hate my naturally muscular legs. But I have to remember, these legs help me walk, not them. They support me. These legs have hiked a mountain in Japan for four hours. These legs have walked 20 miles last May. These legs have ran miles. These legs are strong. So am I. So I don't care about that anymore, but sometimes things get to me about my body. And I have to remember-- my body is MINE. It can't be yours, it can't be any one else's but mine. And I'm grateful.So take the time to appreciate yourself and instead of shaming yourself,appreciate what your body does for you everyday. Take on this world.Let it explode!People will appreciate your confidence because a lot of people front, but they really aren't confident. You attract the type of people you do based on the type of person you are and  who you choose to show to the world.

Us hiking throwing the gates at Fushimi Inari Shrine

Artistically blurry me walking in the street

Us with the fifth graders at Utano Elementary School

Me at Kinkoji Temple ("the Golden Temple")
It is actually gold...they got it like that

sorry it's sideways,I can't find a way to rotate it.
Me and our meditation teacher our first day

Kyoto from above,taken near the top of Fushimi Inari (the mountain we climbed)

You KNOW I have eat.I love ramen.
(Japanese authentica style,not the packaged american-kill-you-kind)

Me walking enjoying the rain on the streets of Kyoto

Celebration of the creations

Hey lovelies! It's almost friday!and since I am a music fiend, I think ending the week on a good note means ending the week on a musical note. A lot of people that I've talked to recently have told me that they get into a body funk,and can't get out of it. I get in those too,I'm not completely without spots and a skewed judgement.However,no one likes how their body looks when it's not doing anything amazing or looks like what other people think is amazing. The truth is--your body is doing some pretty amazing things on its own! You're breathing, seeing, hearing, speaking, walking, etc. And now I have a playlist that will get your body dancing and then by the end of your playlist, you'll be feeling a bit better. I know I do when I listen to it.

Disclaimer/Warning, whatever: there are religious songs on here.Listen to them or not. Your choice.

"Rock your body" -Justin Timberlake
"Bootylicious"-Destiny's Child
"Freakum Dress"-Beyonce
"Just The Way You Are"-Bruno Mars
"Nothing On You"- B.o.B
"Get Up"-Ciara feat. Chamillionaire
"Beautiful Things"-Michael Gungor
"Neon Lights"-Demi Lovato
"LaLa Land"-Demi Lovato
"I'm Coming Out"-Diana Ross
"Make Me Proud"-Drake feat. Nicki Minaj
"Shake It Off"- Florence & The Machine
"Scared Of Beautiful"- Frank Ocean
"The Way You Look Tonight"-Frank Sinatra
"I Don't Wanna Be"-Gavin DeGraw
"I Feel Pretty/Unpretty"-Glee Cast (season two)
"Keep Breathing"-Ingrid Michaelson
"Get It Together"-Indie Arie
"The Real Her"-Drake feat Lil' Wayne & Andre 3000
"Born This Way"-Lady GaGa
"Beautiful"-Christina Aguilera
"Who You Are"-Jessie J
"God Loves Ugly"-Jordin Sparks
"Right To Be Wrong"-Joss Stone
"Sweet Silver Lining"- Kate Voegele
"We R Who We R"-Ke$ha
"What Doesn't Kill You (Stronger)"-Kelly Clarkson
"Imagine Me"-Kirk Franklin
"How He Loves Us"-Jesus Culture
"Wrap Me In Your Arms"- Lisa Gungor
"Wings"-Little Mix
"Change Your Life"-Little Mix
"Please Be My Strength"-The Michael Gungor Band
"Warrior" & "Skyscraper"-Demi Lovato

And so many more...tell me some that I missed or that you know help you get in the groove and feel good and at peace with yourself.Peace :)

I think I can...

"Tell the negativity committee that meets inside your head to sit down and shut up.You have the power."
-Everyday Life Lessons

Hey lovely people, I am starting to switch my closet from the season of summer to fall/winter. It's a random saturday when I rip everything out of my closet, take out a bunch of bags, and sort through everything. It takes a good seven hours. But anyways, I look through the things I bought and the things I lived my summer dreams in and say goodbye to them.Some for the winter,others are so worn out, I have to unfortunately say goodbye forever. Anyways, I always come by some clothes that I plan to wear with so many things and only ended up wearing it like twice the entire season. This year it's my black mini skirt.


It's such a practical piece of clothing.It's just black and plain. But on me people say it looks anything but plain. I have no idea why but slowly that started to affect how much I wore it,what I wore it with,and who saw me in it. Every time I opened my drawer I just saw it and immediately looked past it. I barely considered wearing it because of the looks I got or how my mother would question me to the moon. I believe that she'd try to get me to wear jeans under it if I'd have no objection. I try to pull it down,but I have to much going on body wise for that to even matter.

I understand there is a difference between wearing something made to suit your body,you look great in it, and others have a problem with it; versus what you wear being completely trashy and nasty. Don't get this confused as a sign that you should be wearing too tight jeans that cut off your circulation,give you muffin top, shows most of your ass, and makes everyone uncomfortable--including you. Way different story! That is not my translation.Don't even think about it! But moving on, recently I just decided to eff what they think,I have what I have and if I can wear it to church then I can wear it anywhere. I feel great in it.It makes me look amazing. Nothing is hanging out. Go for it and rock it. Your style may not be someone else's style just like their body isn't and will never be your body.That's fine.Work what you have,and don't wish for what you don't.Be happy with you.

Me and Tiff on her bday with the skirt on...and a lot going on ;)

"Labels are for filling. Labels are for clothing. Labels are not for people".
-Martina Navratilova

Hey.This is my amazing sister Tiffany. We are actually the closest of friends, but we tell everyone we're sisters.That's just the way it is. Anywho, Tiff has been a constant pillar of strength in my life. She is such a strong person and she is an inspiration. She is unapologetic about who she chooses to be and the things she says and does.

Truthfully,sometimes that pisses me off, but I can always count on her for the truth even though I may not want to hear it. I write all of this to say, take the time to appreciate someone in your life that gives you love and strength. Tiffany is my fat heart hero.

She teaches and sometimes reminds me everyday to enjoy my life no matter what.And make the most of what you have. Always stay beautiful and vivid. Even in a black and white photo, may your life and vivaciousness always be seen and felt.

I love you Tiff.

"To love yourself right now, is to give yourself heaven.Don't wait until you die.If you wait, you die now.If you love, you live now."
-Alan Cohen

Hey lovely people. I was going through my bookshelf this weekend and came across this book that I bought last year around this time.It was the famous plus size model Crystal Renn's book called Hungry. She talks about how she was discovered,and how she developed and struggled through her later teens with an eating disorder and how the pressure to get skinnier and skinnier in the fashion industry wore on her body and self worth.

 It detailed the low points and once she had gotten to rock bottom, she had no where to go but up---including her weight. As she started to eat more,her body,self esteem,career,and personal life improved drastically. She started to get booked for more shows and photo shoots.

 She not only tells her story,but inserts statistics and explanations to try to figure out where this "the skinnier,the better" life aspiration came from and why we esteem it so highly in our lives. I found it an inspiring,funny,informative, and easy to relate to in my own life. I hope you all get a chance to read this book. Self love first!That's the true success in a world that has taught you to hate yourself.Everything else comes after that.

 Crystal Renn 16: under 100 pounds

 

Age 18:healthier and more successful

Goodmorrow

Hi everyone,I'm Blair. I am completely excited to be moving into internet-ether with all of yous. I hope you enjoy my awkward, colorful, not funny language and view points.

WARNING: Just be cool,vibe off vibes, and don't take yourself to seriously...or me for that matter.

ok thanks bye!!